Quarantine Thoughts
What a crazy time to be alive right now… Who would have ever thought that this would be something we’d experience and live through? I sure as heck never imagined anything like this.
I’ll admit, when it all first happened, I didn’t believe it to be as bad as it has turned out to be. I didn’t take it too seriously and I never thought it would reach us or affect us here like it has. Obviously, things change quickly and now we’re all adjusting to a new way of life the best we can.
For many of us, our days consist of uncertainty, frustration, sadness, anger… isolation makes all of this that much harder. But maybe, a lot of us are doing okay and finding happiness and some sort of sense of stability despite our new reality. Or perhaps it fluctuates depending on the day. Whatever this experience may be like for you, know that I see you. I know the days are long and I know this is far from ideal for so many of us.
I’m very fortunate that Adam’s work is considered essential so he’s still able to go to the office and, as of now, our situation seems pretty stable. But I know that’s not the case for everyone. Since I’ve been a full time stay-at-home mom for the past nine months, my “norm” didn’t feel like it changed a whole lot but it finally got to me after a while with not being able to go out in general really, go grocery shopping, or even just visit family. So by the second or third week, I was really starting to go stir crazy.
I would definitely consider myself an introvert and I tend to isolate myself more often than I probably should or care to admit. Especially since having Elena (more on that later!). I’ve had to work hard to get out of my funk during this time and some days it’s really hard to find the motivation. It’s hard in a normal situation let alone trying to navigate it during quarantine! I do my best to keep up with my workout group (thank goodness for Zoom!) although I find it harder to do at home but I know that I feel so much better afterwards. Trying to keep a routine with Elena has been the hardest part but we do our best. Getting outside is really helpful for all of us. But, there are things I still need to work on like my screen time or actually tackling projects and chores. I’m not perfect but I’m doing my best.
Quarantine has been a huge mental challenge for me and some days are easier than others but that’s just part of the process.
I do feel sad though, too. I feel sad for the connection that I’m missing out on with my family and friends right now. It’s great that we have the convenience of online communication and that’s better than nothing. But I miss hugs, and chats in person, and dinner with friends and family.
I think what I’m struggling with most is that a lot of people are missing out on time with Elena. This is such an amazing time with her as she’s learning and growing so quickly, I hate that the aunties and uncles and grandparents aren’t able to experience it with us in person. She won’t remember this time or feel sad about it the way I am and I’m fortunate for that. But this was not how I imagined spending part of her first year. This was not the first Easter I wanted for her. Or the first Mother’s Day with her. Or maybe even her first birthday, depending on what things look like come August. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way as many other moms are giving birth during this time and experiencing the newborn stage during all of this. It’s just not easy no matter what your situation is.
At the end of the day, we will get through this. Life won’t be like this forever. As the weeks go by, I keep hearing people say “I just can’t wait for things to go back to normal.” And the more I think about it, I really hope that things don’t go back to normal. Now, hear me out real quick. We will have a new normal and it will be quite an adjustment I’m sure. But I believe that we are learning many valuable things because of quarantine. So many people live such a fast-paced and disconnected life and we’ve been forced to slow down and connect however we’re able to. I hope we don’t lose that. I hope we can continue to slow down and see what’s really important. I hope we can be more intentional with our time and our energy. Spend more time with the people that matter most and hug each other more once we can. I hope we can continue to learn how to adapt by going back to doing things the way the were done years ago. Home cooked meals, more time in nature, less screen time, more time spent at home with our families, less focus on things and more focus on us. Less stress, more love. Less fear, more hope.
It’s all about our mindset. How are we going to choose to look at this? As much as I know many of us are itching to get back to our ‘old’ sense of normalcy, this all feels like a huge reset in a way. I really hope that we walk out of our houses when quarantine is over having been humbled, having learned some valuable things and becoming more grateful for what’s most important whatever those things may be for you.